From Eeyore’s Requiem to the Hundred Acre Failure

This is not an Eeyore’s Requiem; this is alcoholic orange soda.

A photocopy of a photocopy. A jpeg resaved so often it loses all form. This is what I did to the noble Eeyore’s Requiem.

A friend reminded me of this delicious this bitter drink, and Serious Eats informed me of its noble pedigree: this is a Violet Hour original. (Love the Violet Hour. Love Serious Eats, for that matter.)

My friend said he’d held off making this until he found Dolin Blanc, which struck me as slightly odd since he isn’t the type to fear substitutions. Me, I fear few substitutions. And with supplies of Campari and Cynar running low, I thought I’d play with substitutions until I got a drink I no longer loved.

Theory: 5 or more iterations until undrinkability was reached.

Conclusion: a mere 2 iterations.

Caveat: I shamefully own no Fernet but Branca right now. In the future I’d be happy to play with Jelinek, Vallet, or Contratto Fernets, all of which I enjoy thoroughly.

Original Eeyore’s Requiem:

  • 1 1/2 ounces Campari
  • 1/2 ounce Tanqueray
  • 1/4 ounce Cynar
  • 1/4 ounce Fernet Branca
  • 1 ounce Dolin Blanc
  • liberal orange bitters (Fee’s, Regan, or both)

Eeyore’s Requiem variation one: The Tipsy Piglet

  • 1 1/2 ounces St. George Bruto
  • 1/2 ounce Bombay Sapphire
  • 1/4 ounce Cardamaro
  • 1/4 ounce Fernet Branca
  • 1 ounce Noilly Prat
  • liberal orange bitters (Bittercube)

This is good. In place of Cynar, Cardamaro boasts a rich botanical background (including cardoon to echo Cynar’s artichoke). The Bruto, a recent addition to the amaro scene and an incredibly sassy variation on Campari and its ilk, makes sure you know this is a bitter, spirit-forward drink. All in all a success (and one I’d like to experiment with in terms of different gins – could Terroir or Botanist stand up to the Bruto, or is a smoother profile like Sipsmith a finer idea?). But really, not wildly different from the original Eeyore’s Requiem.

Eeyore’s Requiem variation two: Hundred Acre Failure (pictured above)

  • 1 1/2 ounces Contratto Aperitif
  • 1/2 ounce Beefeater
  • 1/4 ounce Amaro Montenegro
  • 1/4 ounce Fernet Branca
  • 1 ounce Contratto Vermouth Bianco
  • liberal orange bitters (Fee Bros)

We killed it with the Hundred Acre Failure, which was like boozy Fanta. Orangey to a fault. Aggressively sweet without proper bitter balance. I love each individual part here but their harmony was not the bold, bitter drink I started with. (And yet I finished the drink.) I can rescue this with a bigger, better bitter but I moved too far toward the sugary end of the spectrum with the Montenegro and Contratto Aperitif.

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